I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
