On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
