Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
