i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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