You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
