Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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