Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
