Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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