U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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