I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
