You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
