i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
