But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
