saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
whose parrot is this?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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