what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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