I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
