i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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