ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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