Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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