And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
