I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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