Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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