Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
