Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He better not be in your backpack
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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