Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
