somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize