Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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