so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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