Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
