can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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