Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
