All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
