big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
