It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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