She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
