I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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