That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
