talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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