We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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