He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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