So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its not stalking. its research.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
