i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
