if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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