So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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