I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
