We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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