I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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