it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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