idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
