I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
