Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
