oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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