its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
