Already got asked if we're dating
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
