i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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