There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize