She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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