No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
